“That’s it. I’m gonna quit Instagram.” - me, in 2020, 2021, 2022.
If you find you have a “love-hate” relationship with social media, and you’re torn about how to address it, come have a seat.
There’s a lot to unpack here.
Considering the time many of us spend on these platforms, the way we’re impacted by the content we’re consuming, and the energy they are pulling from us - it’s time to get honest and intentional about what we’re doing here.
In 2020, I hit a wall with social media.
I opened my Facebook account in 2007. After a couple of years of personal social media use, I made a career change to work in the industry. For years I did social media strategy at agencies and later, ran my own marketing coaching & training business - all while I was managing my own social media brand.
After 13 years - in peak covid and 2020-election-madness - I just got so tired.
I began to feel like these platforms were consuming me.
Over the past few years, countless influencers have publicly shared their exit from social media platforms. There has been a universal experience of saturation.
Here’s what you may have also noticed:
How much time you’re on social media: It may be getting harder to ignore how many hours you’ve spent on your phone and on social media every week. And you’re not happy about these numbers.
You’re disconnected from the content: Maybe back in the day you started by being connected with friends you love here, and these days you’re flooded with ads, content and influencers that you really don’t care much about.
You feel like crap after being on it: After scrolling endlessly you feel yucky. You don’t know where the time went and the content seems to mainly be triggering your sh*t, because you’re a human and there’s only so much you can take.
You mindlessly go on the apps: You don’t make a conscious decision to click these apps open anymore. Your finger seems to do it by default every time you have even the tiniest moment that isn’t occupied.
You’re not seeing the same return here: If you’re a content creator or business owner, you may be recognizing that these spaces just don’t feel or work the way they used to. And you’re exploring other avenues to connect with your community.
On top of all of this, here’s what else I could no longer ignore:
I got really honest with myself about the kinds of things I wanted more of in my life.
They all involved being more present, inspired, creating, having real quality time with my people…
- and social media was pulling me away from all of it.
I began to feel so turned off by these platforms - that I needed to do something drastic. And so, I took a long break.
I removed the two main apps I used (Facebook & Instagram) from my phone for many months. I was craving a real detox and I got it.
I felt freer, more present, lighter, happier. It put so much into perspective.
I connected with my people through heartfelt voicenotes on WhatsApp instead.
And after several months, I realized that I didn’t want to fully delete my accounts.
Here were the pluses I could still identify by being here:
I love being connected to people I love and making new friends here
From time to time, I still felt inspired to share experiences and thoughts here
I love my memes
And still, something foundational needed to change.
I knew that for me it would be a matter of moderation.
It has taken a couple of years of intentional work to figure out what that would mean.
I began with getting honest about what I wanted:
I wanted to have way more time off social media - doing the things I was really feeling called for, and hanging with the people I really care about.
I wanted to be following people, brands and organizations I truly care about now.
I wanted to have less time on my phone altogether.
So I set off on my quest for moderation and it was…challenging.
I tried many times and failed my own promises to myself. How often did I override the Time Limit on my Instagram app? Many, many, many times.
I often thought about the genius minds at Meta designing a product for my addiction - and lets just saw my will power came up short again and again.
After continuing to try different things, I have finally found my “moderation cocktail”.
Below are all tools and tactics I’ve had in place for a while - in service of a moderate (healthy for me) use of social media:
Delete Some Apps from Your Phone (for good): The only apps I really want on my phone are Instagram and Pinterest. They show me beautiful things that make me happy. All other social media platforms - Facebook, LinkedIn - I check only on my desktop. (I never got into TikTok.)
Download Opal: This has been the game-changer, and one of the smartest moves I’ve made in my commitment to moderation. Through Opal, I’ve set blocks of time to block out specific apps - like in the early morning and late evening. I’ve also blocked other apps during my work day. That means, I’m on my phone perhaps 5% of the time I used to be when all apps were available to me. They make it tricky to override the app (although it’s possible) if you ever need to open them when you’ve said you don’t want to. It’s a paid app, and it has been worth every penny.
Set Time Limits: In combination with Opal, this has really finally worked. I’m mostly hooked on Instagram, and I know that 30 minutes a day on this app is as much as I really want to be on it. I trust that in those 30 minutes I will see what I’m meant to see and share what I’m meant to share. I still have my memes, my inspiration, my chats with people I care about and with new friends. When the time is up, I know I’ll pick it up the next day.
Curate Your Following: This was another move that made an enormous difference in the way I felt. For weeks, I was ruthless in unfollowing accounts that did not feel aligned with me any longer. You know what they are. Trust your instinct and click that Unfollow button. Then, Favorite the accounts you want to see more of. It will be lovely.
Newsfeed Eradicator: I’ve had this Chrome extension for years, and I love it. It will remove the newsfeed on all the social media platforms you choose and replace it with inspirational quotes. You can choose to override it for a few minutes at a time if you like. You still see all of your messages and notifications.
Find Alternative Spaces: The truth is that there are lots of places to find community online - from Substack to Mighty Network communities that offer deeper, more intentional, and often more fulfilling experiences of connection and learning than in social media. Get creative and curious about the ones that speak to you and try them out. Having a “healthier for you” alternative space will make it easier to move in the direction you want.
Now that I’m the mom of a teen, I’m seeing all these stories on the impact of social media on teens’ mental health and I can’t help but notice that our generation got swept up into these spaces ourselves with no awareness of their impact in our own psyches, spirit, energy, and sense of connection.
I know that the times I’ve used social media the most, it has been an indicator of feeling low and helpless. I realize that for many of us it can be a distracting shield - keeping us from taking a deeper look into what is happening within us and keeping us from connecting more deeply with the people right in front of us.
I hope that you get curious about how your social media use may be impacting your mind and your heart, and I hope you find the courage to take your time back in all the ways that feel in alignment with what preserves your beautiful essence and purpose.
Mentoring Sessions are back. 👑
I have been feeling inspired to bring back Mentoring Sessions. These are one-hour, 1:1 sessions with me, where we have intentional, powerful, honest conversations about:
what you’re moving through,
what’s possible for you, and
what you get to see and create for yourself.
And you get to ask me whatever you like.
If you are interested in booking a Mentoring session, you can click right here.